


tilly’s fate

by browneyedvixen



Category: Red Dead Redemption, Red Dead Redemption (Video Games), Red Dead Redemption 2
Genre: Crying, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, lots of crying to the point it might get annoying:)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 14:32:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17830364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/browneyedvixen/pseuds/browneyedvixen
Summary: Tilly endures something a woman should never have to go through in her life, no matter what she’s done in her life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t forget to comment and leave kudos💗

tilly jackson.

life ain't so bad when you make the best of what you got. that's what my mama always told me. after being a slave until she was 15, i was the first woman in my family to be free. and if felt damned good too. unfortunately, shortly after i turned 12 i was kidnapped by the foreman brothers. after running with the foreman brothers against my will until i was about 16, and killing one of them after he tried to....make advances at me; i had to gladly leave the foreman brothers and never look back. thankfully though, dutch van der linde found me and i've been alright ever since.

i woke up early that morning so i could sneak off to bathe myself like i always did in the morning. after bathing myself, and dressing myself, i poured myself a cup of coffee waiting for everyone to get up. the first person awake was micah. micah bell made me uncomfortable. more uncomfortable than any other man in this camp.

"good morning pretty girl," he said sitting at the table across from me.

"hi micah," i replied drinking my coffee.

he stood up and came to my side of the table putting his arms on either side of me and leaned in closely so he could whisper in my ear. i looked straight ahead.

"what a pretty little thing you are. it's just something about you that makes me...excited," he whispered making me get up.

"where you going tilly?" he chuckled as i marched back to my tent.

after arthur woke i walked up to him and he grabbed my hand.

"what's wrong?" his hand was rough and calloused compared to my soft ones.

"micah keeps bothering me," i said. though i was much younger than arthur i always had a small crush on him.

"i'll handle it, pretty girl," he said letting my hand go and already i missed his touch.

"micah bothering you?" mary-beth asked with a pout.

"yeah, because he's an asshole," i said making mary nod in agreement. "he always wakes up after i bathe myself and get dressed, he's always the second one up. i wouldn’t be surprised if he watched me do it.”

"i wouldn't doubt it neither. he's so odd," she said shaking her head.

i was 15 years younger than micah. i could be his daughter for god sake. but he insisted on messing with me anyways. it's almost as if he read my thoughts because he strolled over to me.

"hi pretty girl," he said a cigarette pressed between his lips. i tried to walk away but instead he grabbed my wrist. "where you goin’? huh?"

"let me go!" i yelled yanking my arm from his grasp.

"micah leave the girl alone!" arthur bellowed

micah shot a scowl at me before walking away.

later that day around 2 o'clock, i had finished all of my chores for the day so i sat down to take a break and read a book.

"you tired miss jackson? you ain’t did shit to be tired for. i bring in the money, while you sit on your ass all day,” micah said getting up to come toward me. "you ain't nothing but a deadweight," i scoffed. "you is, won't even fuck me even if i held a gun to your head. what the fuck are you here for?”

"fuck you, micah bell!" i said pointing in his face.

"you wanna fuck? you want uncle micah to fuck you?" by now everyone was watching us argue and i slapped him. "you ain't nothin' but a deadweight, darkie bitch!"

i pushed him onto the ground and all i could manage to give him was two good punches before arthur pulled me off of him.

"there's your deadweight darkie bitch!" i screamed kicking him and then spitting on him.

the last thing i saw before being pushed inside arthur's tent was miss grimshaw helping him up.

"now miss tilly, i don't think that was a very wise thing to do," arthur said shaking his head. his deep voice booming in my ears.

"micah has been harassing me and the other girls since he's gotten here. next time he fucks with me i won't hesitate to fucking kill him," i said making arthur chuckle, my hands ached from crashing my knuckles into micah's face. arthur grabbed my hands, examining them.

"you wouldn't think that a sweet girl like you could cause so much damage." arthur said with a light chuckle. i felt my cheeks heat up and though my dark skin complexion didn't show it was definitely happening.

"he had it comin'," i assured arthur. arthur nodded understandably, "he don't sit right with me arthur. he's a bad man," i said.

again, arthur nodded again. he gave my hand a kiss before we left the tent again. miss grimshaw had micah in the girl's tent so she could clean his wounds and patch him up. his eyes never left my body as i walked away.

a few weeks after the commotion, it was late and after not being able to sleep i emerged from my tent. i opened the flap and snuck toward the fire. i seemed to be the only one up. i sat by the fire and warmed myself until i heard footsteps approaching me. micah came into view and he sat across from me on a log. i didn't look at him and nor did he look at me. i couldn't take anymore of the uncomfortable silence so i stood up, making my way back to my tent. before i could make it far enough, micah grabbed my wrist.

"let me go," i said lowly not wanting to wake those who may have been sleeping. his grip only became tighter.

"you think you can get away with hitting me? beating me in front of the whole camp? huh?" micah pulled my body against his as i desperately tried breaking away.

he pushed me onto the ground and straddled my small body. he pinned my wrists above my head as he kissed my neck. i cried out hoping someone would awake and help me. micah grabbed ahold of my throat pulling my ear to his mouth.

"you want me to kill you?" he asked angrily. i shook my head as much as i could because his hand was still wrapped tightly around my throat. "then i suggest you shut up."

i whimpered as he let my neck go and began to kiss my neck again. he sucked dutifully on my neck trying his best to mark me.

"usually i don't fuck darkies, but you miss tilly? you do something to me, that i can't quite explain," he murmured softly against my neck.

"please....please stop," i begged trying not to sob. "please, micah."

instead of stopping he ripped open my blouse, popping every single button in the process and began kissing the tops of my breasts and i cried out again. still nothing.

"relax," he whispered taking my breasts out of my bra and sucking on the nipples. a part of me wanted to scream and cry and kick. but the other part wanted it to keep going. that was until his sweet kisses turned into sloppy rough ones. then, my body started to react the way i wanted it to. he intwined his fingers in my hair and pulled my head back so that i could look at him. "goddamn, what a beauty you is," he said kissing my lips. i didn't kiss him back, instead i turned my head.

my blatant insubordination made him angry causing him to slap me across my face. i screamed in pain as my cheek burned. he took his knife, and cut open my skirt and my underwear. so that i was bare beneath him.

"micah please! please don't do this to me!" i sobbed. his fingers danced over my skin and then down to my vagina. my breath got caught in my throat, then i started sobbing again. "please, i'm sorry," i begged my tears soaking my cheeks and the sides of my face.

"you're so wet, and you smell so good," he moaned bringing his fingers to his nose to smell me. i screamed again hoping someone would help me.

"please micah! i'm sorry! please!" i cried trying to push him away my fingernails digging into his chest. again, he hit me and then wrapped his hand tightly around my neck.

"you gonna take this shit, and you gonna like it!" micah growled as he started to undo his shirt and then his belt came afterwards. he grabbed my thighs roughly spreading my legs apart. he stuck it in me and i cried out in pain tears pooling beneath me. the feeling of his skin against mine, the sound of his grunts, the sound of his belt buckle thumping against the ground while he assaulted me, all made themselves permanent memories in my mind. and God i would never forget his smell.

"you feel so good tilly," he grunted in my ear i was paralyzed. i couldn't move and micah took full advantage of that. his pace quickened making my breath get caught in my throat.

"please stop," i begged him. he only went faster grabbing my hips roughly to keep my body in place. his face buried in my neck, murmuring curse words. micah's breaths got heavier and i knew that meant that this torture would finally be over. the harder and faster he went the harder he held my hips. he quickly pulled out spilling his seed all over my torn clothes.

"good girl," he breathed out kissing my neck and then redoing his pants. i whimpered. charles must've woken up because he saw micah on top of me.

he pushed him off of me and i screamed for help. the whole camp woke up peering their heads from their tents. i sat up grabbing what was left of my clothes to cover myself. dutch was the first to come over and investigate.

"what the hell happened?" he asked looking at me and then looking at micah and charles.

"i caught this son of a bitch raping tilly," charles said gesturing to micah pinned between him and the ground. i sobbed holding my knees close to my chest.

"mary beth, go get miss tilly cleaned up." dutch said and mary beth nodded wrapping a blanket around my shoulders and leading me to the girl's tent.

"he raped me," i cried trying to calm myself down.

"i know, tilly, i know," she said as she gave me a bar of soap and some clothes. she led me to the river and i cried the whole time she helped me wash myself. i washed my hair, my face, my body and yet i still felt dirty. i dried my body quickly so that i could dress myself. when mary beth and i made it back to the tent she sat me between her legs so that she could braid my hair. "i'm so sorry," she said softly.

"it's okay," i replied looking straight ahead. my mind was thinking of a million different things and a million different scenarios where it could've gone way better or it could've gone way worse. after she finished braiding my hair i laid down, exhausted, hoping that tomorrow was better than today.

i woke up the next day with my body sore, my face, my neck, and my wrists mostly. i looked down at my wrists and noticed they had purple finger shaped bruises around them. i looked in the mirror and i barely recognized myself. my cheeks were purple and my neck also had purple finger shaped bruises on it. along with two hickeys on each side of my neck.

i came out of the tent and arthur was the first person to notice me. his eyes studied my fresh bruises and he came over to me.

"i'm gonna kill micah," he said pulling me into a hug. arthur always smelled good and he made sure of it. i tried not to cry again but the water works started again anyways.

"he raped me arthur," i said sobbing thinking of last night. micah’s hands touching my sacred spot and him kissing me. arthur sighed and he grabbed my hand leading me to his horse. he lifted me up onto it before getting on it himself. we rode into town and the first place we stopped was the tailor. he helped me down off the horse and lead me into the shop.

"get yourself some clothes and i'll be out here waitin' for ya," arthur said handing me a stack of money.

"but arthur— he pushed me into the shop and i went up to the man and he looked at me like he'd seen a ghost. i just brought my stuff and arthur smiled when he saw me again.

"i'm putting you in a room for the rest of the week. i don't want you being around micah so soon," i nodded understandably and arthur grabbed my bags leading me back to his horse. when we made it to the horse arthur hoisted me up and gave me my bags to hold while we rode to the hotel. "he ain't never gonna hurt you again, i promise," arthur said helping me from the horse and onto the cobblestone sidewalk. he helped me up to my room.

"thank you arthur," i said laying back on the comfy bed, it's been a minute since i laid in one. my body relaxed instantly and arthur planted a sweet kiss on my forehead before leaving the room. i laid there for a moment letting my thoughts take control and letting my mind wander every place that wasn't here. i missed blackwater and the great plains and being able to ride Beau to tumbleweed without fearing that i'd be caught by pinkertons. i missed when molly was my best friend and she wasn't under dutch all the time. i missed when we were all happy and not running and moving all the time. but most of all, i missed when micah wasn't apart of the gang. the thought of his name made my heart burn in anger and in hatred. i should've known he was gonna try me eventually. from the moment he got there he never let up with his sexist remarks against mary-beth, abigail, karen, and me. and his racist remarks against javier, lenny, charles, and me. the way he looked at me, the way his eyes traveled my body. him calling me pretty girl, touching me "accidentally", everything was a warning sign and i was stupid enough to ignore it until it was too late. i started crying i don't know if it was in sadness or in anger. it could've been both. i kept thinking about what happened and thinking of how i could've prevented it, how i could've stopped him, how i could've fought harder. i cried myself to sleep.

when i woke up, the sun was just setting. i looked to the left of me and saw arthur sitting in a chair writing something in his journal i sat up in the bed and he smiled closing the journal.

"how'd you sleep, my lady," he questioned.

"better than if i would've slept at camp, that's for sure," i stretched going toward the open window and looking out onto the ever-busy streets of Saint Denis. "how's dutch gonna handle micah?" i asked knowing dutch was gonna give micah a pat on the head and tell him not to do it again.

"just as you would expect, just a slap on the wrist," arthur said crossing his arms over his chest. it hurt to know that someone who thought of me as his daughter was letting someone get away with raping me. my heart broke again and i felt heat rush to my head then i felt tears pouring from my eyes again.

"tilly, don't cry," arthur said sitting next to me on the bed. he wrapped his arms around me and i sobbed harder. imagining micah feeling me up.

"i want to kill him," i cried. arthur rubbed my back trying to calm me down. after crying again i wiped my cheeks with my hands and arthur kissed my cheek.

"it's gonna be okay," arthur assured me. his fingers danced across my skin, reminding me of micah. i tried to ignore that thought but it seemed to only get bigger until i pushed arthur away.

"don't touch me!" i exclaimed standing up from the bed and backing away from him. arthur raised his eyebrows at me before grabbing my hand.

"i ain't gonna hurt ya," he told me. "how 'bout you and me go downstairs to the bar and have a couple drinks," he suggested i gulped and nodded.

"i—i don't know," i stammered. i surely knew that sitting here wasn't helping me none.

"just a couple, to calm you down," he said caressing the back of my hand with his calloused thumb.

i nodded. "let me go change."

i went to the bathroom connected to the room and i stripped from my clothes, inspecting myself in the mirror. along with the bruises on my neck, face, and wrists. i also had them on my hips and thighs. i turned away from the mirror to prevent myself from crying again. after washing myself very cautiously to avoid hurting myself, i dried and dressed, and freshly braided my hair.

after we came back from the bar, arthur was drunk, while i on the other hand was not. i couldn't even bring myself to order alcohol. usually i'd love drinking and carrying on, but i couldn't do it. arthur collapsed on the bed immediately, then passed out. i sighed touching the necklace that arthur had given me wrapping my fingers around it.

later that week, i returned to camp everybody was happy to see me. though my bruises were starting to fade, you could still tell i had them. mary-beth wrapped me in a hug and squeezed me tight.

"oh me and karen missed you," she said karen then coming to join the hug.

"i should kill that bastard," karen said with a chuckle and a sniffle of her nose.

"where is he?" i asked scanning my eyes around camp. i didn't see him or that stupid leather coat.

"hopefully hell, cmon i got a new book you'd probably like to read," mary-beth said grabbing my hand.

as mary-beth toted me to our tent, micah was leaning against pearson's tent. he smiled deviously and tipped his hat at me. i looked away immediately.

later that night, i heard yelling going on outside my tent. i listened closely.

"you raped her!" arthur yelled.

"she liked it cowpoke, i ain't never heard a whore scream louder for me than tilly did," micah laughed. i came out of my tent and his eyes locked on mine. i started to tremble, shaking so hard that Jesus himself couldn't stop it if he tried. tears welled in my eyes and i walked over to micah.

"you raped me, nothin' about what you did to me was pleasurable. i was screamin' because it hurt, not because i liked it," i said pointing in his face.

"ya know what, you ain't nothin' but a slut," micah declared laughing in my teary-eyed face. arthur hit him in the back of the head, knocking him out instantly. he fell to the ground at my feet.

"i wish he was dead," i said wiping my tears and going back inside my tent. instead of sleeping, i stared at my tent's wall. that was until i heard a slight wrap on my tents entrance.

"tilly, it's me, arthur," he whispered. i opened the tent and arthur grabbed my hand. "i wanna show you something," his thumb brushed lightly over my fingers and i followed behind him. he lead me to  
a tree where micah had been tied to. he hung is head low his arms tied behind the tree and his legs bound together.

"is he dead?" i asked almost too soon because he shot his head up shooting a scowl at me. i backed away from him bumping into arthur by accident.

"i ain't dead yet, darlin'," he said his face beaten to where he was almost unrecognizable.

"why'd ya do it micah? you coulda just beat me  
like i beat you," i cried.

"just how my pa' did his darkie whores, fuck them like the useless bitches they is," i kneed him in his balls making him scream out in pain. nothing compared to the pain i felt while he took my sense of security from me. i had never slept with anyone besides a foreman brother who had taken my virginity, and that was because i was drunk.

"you better pray that arthur fuckin' kills you before i do," i snapped making micah chuckle.

"i ain't never gon be scared of no bitch," micah snarled. i wiped my tears and walked away as micah yelled profanities behind me.


	2. chapter two.

Tilly Jackson.  
It had been a few weeks since the incident had occurred I was healed finally. No more nasty bruises, no more limping from the pain that had formed between my legs, but my soul was still shattered. The only thing I did was barely keep up with my chores and sleep. I was empty now. After retreating to my tent for the night, I heard Molly and Dutch arguing. I tried to block it out, but I knew it wasn't gonna be that easy.

"You let a man stay here after he raped a woman? What kinda sick bastard are ya?" She exclaimed her accent more prominent with her rage. Her voice full of sorrow and disgust. The same way I felt on the inside.  It felt like those were the only two feelings I could fathom. Sorrowful, because I had to deal with the weight of what happened to me everyday, and disgust because he was still walking around here and I still had to look him in his face even after what he did to me. It was apparent that Dutch didn't care about me nor did he care what happened to me.

"We need Micah so we can make money so we can leave this place!" Molly scoffed and I heard her trudge off. The heavy footsteps got closer to my tent until its entrance peeled back and she peaked her head inside. 

"Can I come in?" She asked softly her green eyes practically begging for me to let her inside. I nodded and she smiled coyly. She came into my tent and she wrapped her arms around me.

"I'm so sorry," Molly said shaking her head. She looked like she was on the verge of tears herself. But she held it together for my sake.   
"If i'm being quite honest? I don't even care anymore," I said shrugging. I was numb to the feeling now. I didn't care. It was all just in a day's work for me at this point. It was normal to feel empty, sad, and angry all at the same time. You would think those emotions would counteract each other, but I felt them all at the same time. 

"Not even just about that," She started. "I'm sorry that he did that to you, I'm sorry that Dutch is so money hungry that he can't let Micah go, I'm sorry that our friendship basically ended because I couldn't leave Dutch alone, I'm sorry, Tilly. I really am. It breaks my heart hearing you cry every night and I'm sorry it happened to you. You didn't deserve it. I'm done with Dutch. He let that bastard do what he did to you and he let him get away with it," It felt good to be in her embrace. It felt like ages since i'd even really seen her. 

Arthur came in next, "I'm sorry Molly but can i speak to Miss Tilly alone for a moment?" He held his hands on his belt his face being shielded by his hat. Molly's warm embrace ended as she got up to leave the tent. She left the tent and I already missed her. I hadn't talked to Molly like that in a while, doing so felt refreshing.  
Arthur took Molly's spot next to me, grabbing my hand. We sat there in silence for a moment feeling him stroke his thumb on the back of my hand. We didn't say anything for the next minute just taking in the silence that was within the tent, the noises that came from camp, and the soft noises of nature that could be heard.

"You okay?" Arthur spoke finally.  I shrugged my shoulders hoping he would get the hint and drop it, but he didn't. Instead he practically begged me with his blue eyes to speak to him just as Molly did with her green ones moments before. 

"I just don't care anymore Arthur. I don't care what happens to me. I damn sure don't care what happens to him. I just don't care. All of my carin' for folks has run out, Arthur," I told him honestly, because that's how I felt. I didn't give a damn anymore because either way, it happened and now I'm dealing with it.

We sat in silence once more, listening to the sounds we had heard before. Arthur grabbed my face to make me look at him. I felt myself about to cry but I held it in because though I knew Arthur would have comforted me, I didn't wanted to burden him. 

"Tilly," Arthur breathed out. I brushed a piece of his hair out of his face and he pressed his lips to mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck while he wrapped his around my torso. His beard brushing against my face while we kissed made my stomach flutter and my heart speed up.

He laid me back on my cot and moved his hands down my body. I felt my body tense up,  I hadn't been touched since that night so feeling him touching me felt odd nonetheless. Arthur stopped immediately when he noticed my stagnant body language. We pulled apart from each other, but he kept his hands on the hem of my skirt.  
   
"I'm sorry," I apologized as I felt that I had ruined the mood. I felt stupid and most of all I felt dirty. I had been feeling that way since then. It felt like no matter what I did I could never get the filth and the stink of him off of my body. I had bathed twice everyday since that night; once in the morning once before bed.

"No need to apologize," Arthur assured me. "We can stop if ya want," I shook my head vigorously. I wasn't gonna let Micah ruin this for me. I had been wanting Arthur since I was 16 and God knows I wasn't gonna let anything stop me from doing this. "Can I?" He asked gesturing to my shirt. I nodded, I wanted him so bad. Unlike Micah, Arthur took off my blouse by doing the buttons one by one. After the shirt was unbuttoned I felt his fingertips dance over the skin on my stomach. "So soft," He mumbled placing soft kisses there. I let out some soft moans feeling my stomach flutter. I hadn't felt this loved in a long time, and who knew that'd it be coming from a white man. 

"Arthur, please be gentle," I said feeling his hands up my skirt. I he was gonna be but I still couldn't bring myself to realize that he wasn't gonna hurt me and he wasn't gonna let anybody else hurt me neither. He nodded as he undid my skirt with no problem. 

"I love you, Tilly, you never forget it," before I could say anything, I felt him push inside of me. the feeling was almost unbearable. I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist, while he looked into my eyes. I tried in my best will to keep my eyes open but the pleasure that this man was giving my body made it impossible to do so. 

"Arthur," I moaned out, I didn't care who heard me. I just wanted everyone to know it felt good. "Arthur," I said again trying to form words. My fingers tangled in his hair as he rolled his hips in and out of me. I gasped when I felt him speed up a little, just enough to tease me. I dug my nails into his back feeling my orgasm nearing me. I moaned loudly when he gave me two sudden quick thrusts. 

"I love you. You love me, darlin'?" I moaned out again feeling my body getting closer to my breaking point. My tummy getting that feeling in it. Arthur stopped and I whined. "I said, do you love me?" his eyes staring into mine. I did love him, but I couldn't form the words. He was throbbing inside of me and I felt myself clenching around him.

"Yes, yes I love you," I cried out. He started up again this time giving me faster and deeper thrusts of his hips. I panted and moaned trying to keep myself from reaching that point already. Arthur flipped us so that I was on top. I laid down so that my face was buried into his neck. Arthur wrapped his arms around me as he thrusted his hips so that he was practically buried inside me. I moaned loudly in his ear as he made love to me. My orgasm was coming fast and I was close.

"I want you to let go, Tilly. Can you do that for me? I want you to come all over me," He demanded thrusting into me harder. My breaths got quicker as I began to grind against him to get there quicker. I kept thinking of his words, he wanted me to come for him, and I was gladly going to do so.

"Arthur, please don't stop oh!" He went faster making the cot squeak underneath us. His hips snapped one more time before I shouted as I came loudly. I let Arthur thrust into me throughout the remainder of my climax. Arthur let out a grunt as he spilled his seed inside of me. He pulled out and collapsed next to me on the small cot. 

"Good girl," he moaned out kissing my sweaty forehead. Though that statement made me uncomfortable because it's what Micah said after the fact, I didn't want to say anything to ruin the moment. Instead I laid my head on his chest and listened to his heart rate even out. We laid there in silence for a moment until I decided to speak up.

"You think they heard us?" I asked jokingly making Arthur laugh and sit up. I watched him redress himself and grab his hat from the small table that I kept in my tent. 

"Maybe so," Arthur replied placing his hat on his head. He came over to my cot and he kissed me on my cheek. "I love you, get some rest." I nodded and watched as he left the tent. I lied there for about 20 minutes replaying the events of tonight over and over in my head, and for the first time in a long time, I went to sleep with a smile on my face. 

A couple weeks had passed since me and Arthur had sex and I hadn't been feeling too good since then. I had an idea of what it was and it terrified me. I couldn't be pregnant with a white man's baby, they'd lynch me, my child, and Arthur if they found out. I wasn't ready to be a mother and who knows if Arthur even wants a child. There was absolutely no way I was gonna have this baby. I sat in my tent crying for what felt like hours thinking of worse case scenarios for this whole situation. I stopped crying when I felt a presence in front of me. I looked up to see Dutch and Micah, I quickly wiped my tears and backed away as far as I could from both of them.

"Why are you in here?" I asked. My heart was basically beating out of my chest. Micah smirked at me devilishly because he knew the effect and the power that he had over me and he took advantage of it. I hated him and I hated myself even more for allowing it to happen. I was shaking with anger and fear. 

"We came to ask you if you had seen Arthur," Dutch said looking between me and Micah. I shook my head no, because come to think of it, I hadn't seen him in about a day or two. But sometimes that was normal depending on the job that Dutch had sent him out to do. Another thing that bothered me is Dutch bringing Micah in here knowing about what happened.

I wanted nothing more than to be in Arthur's arms right now, so that he could protect me from Micah. They both tipped their hats at me, leaving the tent. I wanted so badly to cry, but I held it together and reverted back to what I had been thinking before I was interrupted by the two dumbasses. I was pregnant with Arthur's baby. 

Another day passed and Arthur waltzed into camp, greeting everyone has he always did. He came over to me and wrapped me in a tight hug pulling me into his body. As soon as I felt his warm embrace I began to tear up a little, because God knows how much I missed him.

"Arthur, I have something important to tell you," I said with my head still against his chest. How was I even gonna say it? Just tell him, 'I'm pregnant'? He pulled away from me and smiled down at me warmly. I took a deep breath trying to find the right words to say, "I--I'm pregnant," Arthur's smile dropped immediately. I didn't know if it was in anger or in shock, and God I hoped it was shock. 

"You serious?" He asked his eyebrows furrowing. I nodded quickly. I felt stupid for even bringing it up at this point. He wrapped his arms around me eagerly, "Tilly darlin'. I'm so happy." I felt my body relax when he hugged me again. For a moment, I thought that I'd be doing this alone. I sighed hoping that from this point forward I never had to worry about anything but my child. 

Later on that night, the news had spread throughout the camp and soon everybody knew of the new addition to our dysfunctional family. My day had been filled with lots of congratulations and such. For as long as I could remember I'd always wanted a child, but I didn't think that it would have been so soon. After dinner, I went over to the wash bucket because it was my turn to wash the dishes.

"Congratulations on your little half breed child," snorted Micah. "Too bad I didn't put one in you when I had the chance. I would have loved to have a baby with you, even if you are a darkie," He said with a chuckle. I was disgusted with his words but instead of reacting to him and his antics I ignored him, which clearly irritated him. "What? Darkie can't speak now?" He taunted coming closer to me. 

"Micah, leave me alone," I demanded looking him straight in his eyes. He chuckled looking down at his boots and kicking up some loose dirt. He looked between me and the ground a couple of times before he spoke again.

"Feisty, ain't you? Even when Arthur ain't here to protect you," Micah teased pushing my body against Pearson's wagon. I felt defeated with his lips attacking my neck and his knee pressed between my legs to assure that I wasn't going anywhere as bad as I wanted to. 

"Please, Micah, please stop," I begged on the verge of tears. Why was I letting him do this to me? Why did I never fight back? Whenever he touches me, my body freezes which makes him think that I'm okay with him taking advantage of me. He didn't stop instead he grabbed my wrist attempting to drag me away from camp. But I screamed loud enough before he covered my mouth causing Molly to rush over and notice what he was doing to me. 

"Let her go, you bastard!" She exclaimed, her face red in anger. His arms tightened around my waist and he pulled one of those red and black painted guns out of his holster, aiming it at Molly. 

"Micah, stop," I said shaking my head. "I'll go with you, I'll do whatever you want, I swear, just please don't shoot her," I begged hoping that would persuade him to lower the gun. He still held it on her while she stood there like she was paralyzed. She began to come closer, Micah cocked his gun still aimed at Molly.  
   
"Stop!" yelled Arthur.

Arthur Morgan.  
After dinner ended, everyone had ventured out. I saw Tilly head over to Pearson's tent to do the dishes from dinner that night. Soon, she was gon be unable to do her daily chores. I was excited to be a father, for the second time. I wasn't gonna let Tilly and this baby end up like Isaac and Eliza. After writing in my journal and playing a quick game of poker with John, Uncle, Pearson, and Charles, I noticed that Tilly had been gone for a while. My second instinct was to look for Micah. Neither of them were to be found. I heard a shriek from behind the house and ran quickly to where I heard it from. Though it was dark outside and the only light that was available was the light from the moon, I could still see. Micah held Tilly while he aimed a gun at Molly. 

"Stop!" I yelled running over to the scene. I tackled Micah to the ground and beat him until he stopped moving beneath me. "Bastard," I mumbled stepping over him and the I lead the girls back to camp. 

"I'm sorry, Arthur," Tilly said tears running down her cheeks when we got back to our tent. We laid on the cot her body against mine, and I laid her head on my shoulder while she cried. 

"Ain't nothin' to be sorry for," I cooed rubbing her back trying to help her to calm down. She cried for a while longer before finally succumbing to her tiredness and falling asleep. I rubbed her back, getting lost within my thoughts. I felt myself slipping in and out of consciousness before I let sleep overtake me as well.

A couple weeks later, after not so careful planning and brash decisions, Dutch decided that we would rob the bank in Saint Denis. Before I got on my horse, I gave Tilly a tight hug and a kiss on her forehead. 

"You better come back to me," She whispered in my ear as we hugged. I didn't want to let her go, I didn't even want to go at all. But, if all goes well, I'll have enough money to give Tilly and our child a good life, even if it was with or without me. 

"I will, I promise," I said pulling away softly and getting on my horse. I gave Tilly one last wave, then we headed off to sudden death, leaving my pregnant girlfriend and her problems, along with my own behind me.

 

The bank robbery had gone terribly wrong. The moment we walked in there, there was no way we were gonna do it without being caught. The place was crawling with Pinkerton's and for the first time in a long time, I feared for my life. The worst part of it all is the loss of Hosea and Lenny. I watched them both die and I couldn't do anything about it. John being captured by the Pinkertons, it was all just a mess. Now? I was on an island a little bit outside of Cuba running for my life, along with Bill, Dutch, Javier, and the devil Micah. We had been gone for about a month now, the sail from Saint Denis to here was lengthy. At the moment, I wanted nothing more than to hold Tilly in my arms and tell her how much I loved her. My thoughts were rudely interrupted by Micah.

"Now cowpoke, I know we ain't been on the besta terms--" He said scratching his beard, a devilish smile on his lips. 

"You call rapin' a woman, harassin' her, and tauntin' her "ain't been on the besta terms"?" I asked. Before he could reply, I made my way over to where Dutch told me to meet him out. I just wanted to get back to America. 

Tilly Jackson.

Arthur had been gone for a month. I was now a month and a couple weeks pregnant. The only thing I did these days was do chores, ride with Pearson into town for supplies, and cried. I missed Arthur more than I would like to admit. I was busy doing my cores for the day when a frantic Charles rode into camp.

"What's wrong Charles?" I overheard Sadie ask. I dropped the washing board to the ground getting up to  go join Sadie and Charles. I was hoping that Charles would know if Arthur was okay or not. God I hope he did.

"The Pinkerton's are coming, so all of us need to move camp to a little shack village until we can get everything sorted out," Charles said as everyone gathered to listen to him. They murmured as they went off to help tear down camp. 

I hugged Charles tightly, seeing him gave me hope that Arthur was indeed alright. "Is Arthur alright?" I asked hoping the answer could be a good one. His embrace ended, he sighed, then spoke.

"Last time I saw Arthur, him, Dutch, Bill, Javier, and Micah boarded a boat as stowaways, but that's all I know," He said. I had to sit down. There were two possibilities: one, Arthur died on the way there and he's all the way at the bottom or the ocean. Or two, he could have made it to wherever he was and decided that he didn't want to come back to deal with me and our child. I felt tears well in my eyes letting my thoughts and emotions run wild. Soon I was full on sobbing almost not able to breath.  
   
"Calm down," Sadie cooed rubbing my back. I was pregnant with this mans baby I didn't know if he was alive or fucking dead. "Tilly you gonna hurt that baby now. You need to stop stressin'," I  nodded at her. She was right, I would imagine that constant stress isn't good for me or my child.

"Sadie, what if he's dead? I can't raise no baby by myself. Especially not no mixed one," I said holding my head in my hands. I couldn't believe how bad my life had been for the last couple months. It was one thing after a-damn-nother. I can't catch a fucking break.

"If he don't make it back alive, trust me everybody in this camp is gon help you raise that baby," Sadie assured me. I sighed, giving into Sadie's comforting words and wiping my tears. 

We all worked tirelessly for hours, packing up everything making sure we didn't miss a thing. Soon after we loaded up the wagons and galloped off. I looked back at Shady Belle one last time before it disappeared from my view. Onward and upward I suppose.

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t forget to comment and leave kudos💗


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